I write a blog. I write the things that have happened to me and I write about things that I hope will happen to me. I write the truth as I know it. I write how I see things. I curse things, people, places. I swear and I bemoan, but I never lie. I say these things because I am asked on the daily if my blog is factual. I am asked if what I write about has really happened to me and/or my family. Yes, Peter is really dead. In fact, he is sitting in my closet as I write this. I have yet to find a proper urn for him as they all seem so unlike my husband plus the fact that there are a lot of fucking ashes. Peter was a big guy and his ashes reflect that. Yes, I have about twenty or so dick pics housed on my computer as I know they will be a chapter in my book (prepare to find yourself, boys). Yes, I am working on a book about grief. Yes, my kids curse like longshoremen and I don’t give a fuck. My best friend is really Overstreet and we really have been best friends since we were eleven. Yes, I talk to my mother four or five times a day by phone, even though we live together and finally, I am a black woman that has an unexplainable desire, draw and attraction to redheads. I write.
I write because I enjoy everything about writing, even the stress and anxiety. People tell me all the time that I am so open and brave writing this blog. My favorite quote that someone has said to me has to be…”You are so courageous for unzipping your life like this, now please zip it back up!” Unfortunately, I am unable, maybe unwilling, to zip up. I have several family members who will not acknowledge that my blog, or for that matter, my writing even exists, but it does and so do I. Several people in my life have suggested that this “little project” of mine is detrimental to what’s really important in life, which is family. I believe the exact opposite.
I am here, in my current situation to learn and to teach and I only hope I can accomplish that goal. I hope that I can show people that life moves forward, even when you want it to stand still. I feel strong in my beliefs and even stronger in my resolve to never stop telling my truth even if it makes you uncomfortable. A friend of mine recently told me I like the shock value of this blog, but I feel like life is shocking enough. I guess I do shock people by telling the truth or naming names, as it were (even though I never use names unless I get permission). So instead of doubting myself or being ashamed of what I do or how I live, I am going to embrace it. I will not surrender because you are uncomfortable. I will stand up against the evil forces that would like to see me crumble. I am a truth teller. I am now a rebel. I am bucking against the status quo of popular opinion. I shall now be known as the Norma Rae of writing. I am standing on top of my putie with a piece of cardboard and on it is scrolled “UNION!