HERE A PIC, THERE A PIC, EVERYWHERE A DICK PIC. I’ve started dating, oh joy! I have joined Ok cupid, a free online dating site. I have never been on a dating website, there was never a need. I’m ready, I say to myself. I’m not ready, I say even louder. I ask my therapist […]

Dirty M. F.

“I AM NEVER DATING AGAIN! EVER!”   “You’ve said that before, ummmmm, like 1000 times!”   “I know, I know but this time, I mean it. This shit is real. I think James is a catfish!”   “WHA…” Overstreet says in a high pitched voice.   It started two weeks ago, I decided I would […]

Black Wives Matter

“I am dying” I say, when asked. My friend Sarah and I are on the phone and she asks me how I am and my off the cuff response is I am dying. This was not yesterday or even two years ago.  This was ten fucking years ago and I was convinced of my impending […]

In a Kitchen of Pipe’s

I am sitting in Pipes’ kitchen and pondering several things at once, which usually happens in Pipes kitchen, as there are several life altering conversations being held. Among them; what the hell is wrong with Pat Houston? Is that gay dude really “delirvert” and how in the world is Pipes going to start a fortune […]

In a Kitchen of Pipe's

I am sitting in Pipes’ kitchen and pondering several things at once, which usually happens in Pipes kitchen, as there are several life altering conversations being held. Among them; what the hell is wrong with Pat Houston? Is that gay dude really “delirvert” and how in the world is Pipes going to start a fortune […]

You're Fired!

I was married the evening of  Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]

You’re Fired!

I was married the evening of  Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]

That Danny Glover thing

I think I have that Danny Glover disease. Nope, I know I have it. He is on my T.V. every night describing something I have been struggling with since widowhood. In these commercials, Danny talks about his ability to control his emotions because he is an actor and he does not, I repeat, does not […]

Dorito Fat

If I can just get this buttercream frosting right this day will end perfectly. I can’t focus and I am stupidly trying a new buttercream recipe. My mantra right now is “I am so stupid, I am so stupid”.  I really need to eat a cake. A cake with buttercream frosting. Baking a yummy cake […]

Never. Gonna. Happen.

At the point in my short-lived dating life I have given up.  That’s O.K. I am finally good with being alone. So the next date I have I make an agreement with myself that I don’t really care if he likes me. In fact I’m going to be the most outlandish me I can be. […]