There’s got to be a better name for it! Aging. I am cautiously, apprehensively, approaching 50 and the conundrums of a half century plague my thoughts. The first, how could I possibly be 50? My mother is 50. The streaks of silver hair that run through my bangs, the saggy, wrinkled skin wrapped around my […]
My father-in-law died. Our relationship has been nonexistent in recent years. After Peter died, my in laws seemed uninterested in most aspects of mine and my children’s lives. The less I talked to them the more the pain of our disintegrated relationship stung. I vacillated between praying to sky daddy that we could repair our […]
I am an only child; I have always been an only child. My mother wanted more children but to her dismay, it never happened for her. When people find out I am an only child, two things happen, first their face contorts into an ugly, confused shape, second, they say, you don’t seem like an […]
I often wonder when I will get old. Will I wake-up one morning and be old. Am I old now? I recently decided, yes, decided to get and wear bi-focals. People who are nice, call them progressives. Maybe because you are getting progressively older, progressively blind, progressing your way to cataract surgery. I have these […]
I went to my 30-year high school reunion. I wasn’t going to go but I decided to say “yes” to things that scare me. I went with low expectations. Actually, I wasn’t really sure what to expect but I went hoping that I would have some sort of fun and I did. The night is […]
Since I became a widow there have been two things that I detested about myself. One is my ability to cry at anything. Tragic, triumphant, mediocre, anything. When Peter died it’s as if my heart became exposed in a new way. I have always been a crybaby but once I experienced that loss, my heart […]
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Fester like a sore? And then run. Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over Like syrupy sweet Maybe it just sags Like a heavy load Or does it explode? -Langston Hughes I was a child […]
Coronavirus. Covid 19 has affected the world, this virus has made all of us, hopefully look inward and reflect on our relationships with each other and the world. With many of us, under or unemployed we have needed to stay strong and find some glimmer of hope in these trying times. For some, this has […]
“Am I too old to do coke?” I mumbled the question to my friend Joe. “What, Love?” He says, taking a long drag from his cigarette, as he is perched on the edge of his picnic table. “Am I too old to do cocaine?” I mumbled again, ashamed I am even asking this question. “What? […]
I was eight when it happened the first time. My mother was gone and I was alone with Asshole. He brought me down our hallway to my mom’s bedroom. I don’t remember him taking off his clothes but somehow the next time I looked at him he was naked lying on top of the maroon […]
lifeinthewidowhood 