Writer Die

I am an only child; I have always been an only child. My mother wanted more children but to her dismay, it never happened for her. When people find out I am an only child, two things happen, first their face contorts into an ugly, confused shape, second, they say, you don’t seem like an […]

Old is as…

I often wonder when I will get old. Will I wake-up one morning and be old. Am I old now? I recently decided, yes, decided to get and wear bi-focals.  People who are nice, call them progressives. Maybe because you are getting progressively older, progressively blind, progressing your way to cataract surgery.  I have these […]

Cry, Cry Baby

Since I became a widow there have been two things that I detested about myself. One is my ability to cry at anything. Tragic, triumphant, mediocre, anything. When Peter died it’s as if my heart became exposed in a new way. I have always been a crybaby but once I experienced that loss, my heart […]

Ridin’ that train…

“Am I too old to do coke?” I mumbled the question to my friend Joe. “What, Love?” He says, taking a long drag from his cigarette, as he is perched on the edge of his picnic table. “Am I too old to do cocaine?” I mumbled again, ashamed I am even asking this question. “What? […]

HERE A PIC, THERE A PIC, EVERYWHERE A DICK PIC. I’ve started dating, oh joy! I have joined Ok cupid, a free online dating site. I have never been on a dating website, there was never a need. I’m ready, I say to myself. I’m not ready, I say even louder. I ask my therapist […]

My Gal Pal Val.

When I was in high school, there were a few people that I aspired to be. I had hair envy, I had body envy. But there was only one person who gave me brain envy. Her name was Valerie Veerman and she was the smartest person, I knew and usually the smartest person in the […]

Train Wreck

“You are a train wreck!” “I’m a train wreck?” “Yes, a total train wreck and I know that.” “Why, why am I a train wreck?” “Because you can’t let go of Peter.” I’m the fucking train wreck, I’m the train wreck? You… your ex-wife is a macadamia and you picked her, and you ALWAYS talk […]

No, I can't feel "it"!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

No, I can’t feel “it”!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

Quicksand is real

Mrs. Jeffries was my third grade teacher. I adored her. Not only did I hang on her every word, I wanted to be her daughter. She taught me (I’m sure there were other kids in the class, I’m not sure) everything that was important to a third grader. One of the most important things she […]