My Gal Pal Val.

When I was in high school, there were a few people that I aspired to be. I had hair envy, I had body envy. But there was only one person who gave me brain envy. Her name was Valerie Veerman and she was the smartest person, I knew and usually the smartest person in the […]

Dirty M. F.

“I AM NEVER DATING AGAIN! EVER!”   “You’ve said that before, ummmmm, like 1000 times!”   “I know, I know but this time, I mean it. This shit is real. I think James is a catfish!”   “WHA…” Overstreet says in a high pitched voice.   It started two weeks ago, I decided I would […]

Train Wreck

“You are a train wreck!” “I’m a train wreck?” “Yes, a total train wreck and I know that.” “Why, why am I a train wreck?” “Because you can’t let go of Peter.” I’m the fucking train wreck, I’m the train wreck? You… your ex-wife is a macadamia and you picked her, and you ALWAYS talk […]

No, I can’t feel “it”!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

No, I can't feel "it"!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

Quicksand is real

Mrs. Jeffries was my third grade teacher. I adored her. Not only did I hang on her every word, I wanted to be her daughter. She taught me (I’m sure there were other kids in the class, I’m not sure) everything that was important to a third grader. One of the most important things she […]

Black Wives Matter

“I am dying” I say, when asked. My friend Sarah and I are on the phone and she asks me how I am and my off the cuff response is I am dying. This was not yesterday or even two years ago.  This was ten fucking years ago and I was convinced of my impending […]

I Am…

I am so sad today. Recently some friends have been sharing their wedding photos and my first thought was “I used to be married once.” It seems so long ago. I used to be married once.  My brain wants to reject this sadness. In between intermittent tears, I dream of my second wedding. I am […]

Summer Camp

I have been asked so many times in the two years since I became a widow if I want to marry again. I can’t decide if the question is purely curiosity or if people are asking because they can not face the reality of their spouse dying; perhaps afraid to catch “the death,” which as […]

You're Fired!

I was married the evening of  Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]