Ridin’ that train…

“Am I too old to do coke?” I mumbled the question to my friend Joe. “What, Love?” He says, taking a long drag from his cigarette, as he is perched on the edge of his picnic table. “Am I too old to do cocaine?” I mumbled again, ashamed I am even asking this question. “What? […]

HERE A PIC, THERE A PIC, EVERYWHERE A DICK PIC. I’ve started dating, oh joy! I have joined Ok cupid, a free online dating site. I have never been on a dating website, there was never a need. I’m ready, I say to myself. I’m not ready, I say even louder. I ask my therapist […]

No, I can’t feel “it”!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

No, I can't feel "it"!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

Quicksand is real

Mrs. Jeffries was my third grade teacher. I adored her. Not only did I hang on her every word, I wanted to be her daughter. She taught me (I’m sure there were other kids in the class, I’m not sure) everything that was important to a third grader. One of the most important things she […]

I want my ten dollars!

I am not in the Christmas spirit, at all. My kitchen is a disaster area. There is crusted food on my tile counter tops. Garbage is on the floor, next to the garbage can; not in the can, but next to it.  Paper towels are strung to and fro and I have less than zero […]

Do Beans Burn?

Fish don’t fry in the kitchen… beans don’t burn in the grill… took a whole lot of turn in, just to get up that hill… This is my brain right now. This is all I can remember right now and this damn Jeffersons theme song keeps circling through my brain. I wouldn’t call it an […]

In a Kitchen of Pipe's

I am sitting in Pipes’ kitchen and pondering several things at once, which usually happens in Pipes kitchen, as there are several life altering conversations being held. Among them; what the hell is wrong with Pat Houston? Is that gay dude really “delirvert” and how in the world is Pipes going to start a fortune […]

In a Kitchen of Pipe’s

I am sitting in Pipes’ kitchen and pondering several things at once, which usually happens in Pipes kitchen, as there are several life altering conversations being held. Among them; what the hell is wrong with Pat Houston? Is that gay dude really “delirvert” and how in the world is Pipes going to start a fortune […]

Dr. Dentist

I am up again, not having a husband is exhausting on too many levels. I have to do something I hate to do. I have to fire someone, a professional someone. I have to fire my dentist. She is a stalker that does not abide by societal rules and I must fire her. I have […]