Thanksgiving sucks. I have always hated it. When I was a child I would always ask my mom a week before thanksgiving, “aren’t the holidays when everybody kills themselves?” My mother would inevitably look down at me and remind me that it’s fun. My mother’s devotion to fun was unnerving, especially during the holidays. So […]

And so it begins… I am looking at this penis on my phone and I want to laugh and cry simultaneously. I am completely shocked, amazed and perplexed at the same time. Should I make fun of the size of his dick? Should I tell him he’s an idiot? Or maybe I’ll text him that […]