Code Talkers

Originally posted on lifeinthewidowhood:
Today is Christmas and I am in Puerto Vallarta.  Twenty-one years ago, in this very spot, I was planning how to be a married lady.  I was really only a girl but I was damn sure going to be a captivating wife.  I was on my honeymoon.  Today as I stated…

Black Wives Matter

“I am dying” I say, when asked. My friend Sarah and I are on the phone and she asks me how I am and my off the cuff response is I am dying. This was not yesterday or even two years ago.  This was ten fucking years ago and I was convinced of my impending […]

I Am…

I am so sad today. Recently some friends have been sharing their wedding photos and my first thought was “I used to be married once.” It seems so long ago. I used to be married once.  My brain wants to reject this sadness. In between intermittent tears, I dream of my second wedding. I am […]

Forty is Forty

I am pretty sure that forty, or a few years after forty, is the most dangerous age known to man. At 39, I knew I had my life figured out. OK my husband died soon after I turned thirty-nine but still I’ve witnessed this age collapse with my forty-something friends. In the two short years […]

I want my ten dollars!

I am not in the Christmas spirit, at all. My kitchen is a disaster area. There is crusted food on my tile counter tops. Garbage is on the floor, next to the garbage can; not in the can, but next to it.  Paper towels are strung to and fro and I have less than zero […]

Do Beans Burn?

Fish don’t fry in the kitchen… beans don’t burn in the grill… took a whole lot of turn in, just to get up that hill… This is my brain right now. This is all I can remember right now and this damn Jeffersons theme song keeps circling through my brain. I wouldn’t call it an […]

Summer Camp

I have been asked so many times in the two years since I became a widow if I want to marry again. I can’t decide if the question is purely curiosity or if people are asking because they can not face the reality of their spouse dying; perhaps afraid to catch “the death,” which as […]