No, I can’t feel “it”!

When I was married, I used to think Sex and the City was a fairy tale, a fanciful, dramatic confection of stories spun together to entertain us women.  I used to believe fiction was stranger than life, then I became single. I was shoved, by my own doing, to enter the dating world. Maybe I […]

Quicksand is real

Mrs. Jeffries was my third grade teacher. I adored her. Not only did I hang on her every word, I wanted to be her daughter. She taught me (I’m sure there were other kids in the class, I’m not sure) everything that was important to a third grader. One of the most important things she […]

Code Talkers

Originally posted on lifeinthewidowhood:
Today is Christmas and I am in Puerto Vallarta.  Twenty-one years ago, in this very spot, I was planning how to be a married lady.  I was really only a girl but I was damn sure going to be a captivating wife.  I was on my honeymoon.  Today as I stated…

Black Wives Matter

“I am dying” I say, when asked. My friend Sarah and I are on the phone and she asks me how I am and my off the cuff response is I am dying. This was not yesterday or even two years ago.  This was ten fucking years ago and I was convinced of my impending […]

I Am…

I am so sad today. Recently some friends have been sharing their wedding photos and my first thought was “I used to be married once.” It seems so long ago. I used to be married once.  My brain wants to reject this sadness. In between intermittent tears, I dream of my second wedding. I am […]

Forty is Forty

I am pretty sure that forty, or a few years after forty, is the most dangerous age known to man. At 39, I knew I had my life figured out. OK my husband died soon after I turned thirty-nine but still I’ve witnessed this age collapse with my forty-something friends. In the two short years […]

I want my ten dollars!

I am not in the Christmas spirit, at all. My kitchen is a disaster area. There is crusted food on my tile counter tops. Garbage is on the floor, next to the garbage can; not in the can, but next to it.  Paper towels are strung to and fro and I have less than zero […]