Dirty M. F.

“I AM NEVER DATING AGAIN! EVER!”   “You’ve said that before, ummmmm, like 1000 times!”   “I know, I know but this time, I mean it. This shit is real. I think James is a catfish!”   “WHA…” Overstreet says in a high pitched voice.   It started two weeks ago, I decided I would […]

Train Wreck

“You are a train wreck!” “I’m a train wreck?” “Yes, a total train wreck and I know that.” “Why, why am I a train wreck?” “Because you can’t let go of Peter.” I’m the fucking train wreck, I’m the train wreck? You… your ex-wife is a macadamia and you picked her, and you ALWAYS talk […]

Forty is Forty

I am pretty sure that forty, or a few years after forty, is the most dangerous age known to man. At 39, I knew I had my life figured out. OK my husband died soon after I turned thirty-nine but still I’ve witnessed this age collapse with my forty-something friends. In the two short years […]

You’re Fired!

I was married the evening of  Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]

You're Fired!

I was married the evening of  Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]

Forty-five

You would have been forty-five. We used to talk about how old forty-five seemed when we were in our twenties. You dreamed or hoped you would have children by then, I was not so sure. You used to tell me forty-five was half of your life, I had no idea that forty-five would be longer […]

Know thy self.

I don’t know who I am without Peter. I am lost on so many levels without him. I know I am a parent, a single parent. I know I am a woman in love with several men. (I may or may not explain that last sentence in a blog) In an effort to know myself, […]

U N I O N !

I write a blog. I write the things that have happened to me and I write about things that I hope will happen to me. I write the truth as I know it. I write how I see things. I curse things, people, places. I swear and I bemoan, but I never lie. I say […]

What kind of mother are you?!

I worry that my kids are going to get scurvy, not a realistic fear in the twenty-first century but a fear I still have.  Maybe it’s because I can’t deal with the real dangers of life.  Between my anxiety over my daughter being date raped when she ventures off to college and my son being […]

Sheryl Sandberg is in shock

When Peter died, one of my best friends came to stay with me. Her name is Vivian and she is my neighbor in the widowhood. Once the doctors decided that Peter was officially gone, Viv caught the next plane to Portland. The morning after he died, we were walking through my front door and I […]