My Gal Pal Val.

When I was in high school, there were a few people that I aspired to be. I had hair envy, I had body envy. But there was only one person who gave me brain envy. Her name was Valerie Veerman and she was the smartest person, I knew and usually the smartest person in the […]

Quicksand is real

Mrs. Jeffries was my third grade teacher. I adored her. Not only did I hang on her every word, I wanted to be her daughter. She taught me (I’m sure there were other kids in the class, I’m not sure) everything that was important to a third grader. One of the most important things she […]

I Am…

I am so sad today. Recently some friends have been sharing their wedding photos and my first thought was “I used to be married once.” It seems so long ago. I used to be married once.  My brain wants to reject this sadness. In between intermittent tears, I dream of my second wedding. I am […]

Forty-five

You would have been forty-five. We used to talk about how old forty-five seemed when we were in our twenties. You dreamed or hoped you would have children by then, I was not so sure. You used to tell me forty-five was half of your life, I had no idea that forty-five would be longer […]

Looking for…

I’ve been looking for a savior in these dirty streets, looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets… I need something that is unattainable. I know it is unattainable, still I search. I look everywhere and can’t seem to find it. I know what I need but I also understand that what I need can’t […]

U N I O N !

I write a blog. I write the things that have happened to me and I write about things that I hope will happen to me. I write the truth as I know it. I write how I see things. I curse things, people, places. I swear and I bemoan, but I never lie. I say […]

What kind of mother are you?!

I worry that my kids are going to get scurvy, not a realistic fear in the twenty-first century but a fear I still have.  Maybe it’s because I can’t deal with the real dangers of life.  Between my anxiety over my daughter being date raped when she ventures off to college and my son being […]

Daisies

When I was nine, I was being molested by my mother’s boyfriend. That was the same time I fell in love with daisies.  Daisies aren’t particularly beautiful but I loved them with all my nine year old soul. As the abuse escalated so did my love for daisies. I watched them return, not just return, […]

Sheryl Sandberg is in shock

When Peter died, one of my best friends came to stay with me. Her name is Vivian and she is my neighbor in the widowhood. Once the doctors decided that Peter was officially gone, Viv caught the next plane to Portland. The morning after he died, we were walking through my front door and I […]

M-A-R-Y new word A-N-N

When my mom met Peter for the first time, she was smitten.  I am not sure what it was about him that she instantly fell in love with; maybe his shyness, maybe the way he looked at me with adoration in his eyes, maybe his quick wit, I am not sure. If you asked Mary […]