Ridin’ that train…

“Am I too old to do coke?” I mumbled the question to my friend Joe. “What, Love?” He says, taking a long drag from his cigarette, as he is perched on the edge of his picnic table. “Am I too old to do cocaine?” I mumbled again, ashamed I am even asking this question. “What? […]

Book Excerpt Part II

I was eight when it happened the first time. My mother was gone and I was alone with Asshole. He brought me down our hallway to my mom’s bedroom. I don’t remember him taking off his clothes but somehow the next time I looked at him he was naked lying on top of the maroon […]

HERE A PIC, THERE A PIC, EVERYWHERE A DICK PIC. I’ve started dating, oh joy! I have joined Ok cupid, a free online dating site. I have never been on a dating website, there was never a need. I’m ready, I say to myself. I’m not ready, I say even louder. I ask my therapist […]

My Gal Pal Val.

When I was in high school, there were a few people that I aspired to be. I had hair envy, I had body envy. But there was only one person who gave me brain envy. Her name was Valerie Veerman and she was the smartest person, I knew and usually the smartest person in the […]

My Gal Pal, Val

When I was in high school, there were a few people that I aspired to be. I had hair envy, I had body envy. But there was only one person who gave me brain envy. Her name was Valerie Veerman and she was the smartest person, I knew and usually the smartest person in the room. We were in […]

Too Much

All of my life I have been told I was too much. When I was a child, a teacher sat me down and told me I was too aggressive because I punched a girl that had turned my last name into Walrus instead of Wallace. During my childhood I was told by several adults that I was too confrontational, […]

Almost Sixteen

I think my daughter is trying to kill me. It’s not a murderous rage or even a sly plot take my life, it’s a slow continuous break down of me, my person. It’s only fair that she’s trying to kill me as I tried to kill my mother when I was fifteen. She’s not killing […]

Dirty M. F.

“I AM NEVER DATING AGAIN! EVER!”   “You’ve said that before, ummmmm, like 1000 times!”   “I know, I know but this time, I mean it. This shit is real. I think James is a catfish!”   “WHA…” Overstreet says in a high pitched voice.   It started two weeks ago, I decided I would […]

Train Wreck

“You are a train wreck!” “I’m a train wreck?” “Yes, a total train wreck and I know that.” “Why, why am I a train wreck?” “Because you can’t let go of Peter.” I’m the fucking train wreck, I’m the train wreck? You… your ex-wife is a macadamia and you picked her, and you ALWAYS talk […]

Quicksand is real

Mrs. Jeffries was my third grade teacher. I adored her. Not only did I hang on her every word, I wanted to be her daughter. She taught me (I’m sure there were other kids in the class, I’m not sure) everything that was important to a third grader. One of the most important things she […]