Ridin’ that train…

“Am I too old to do coke?” I mumbled the question to my friend Joe. “What, Love?” He says, taking a long drag from his cigarette, as he is perched on the edge of his picnic table. “Am I too old to do cocaine?” I mumbled again, ashamed I am even asking this question. “What? […]

HERE A PIC, THERE A PIC, EVERYWHERE A DICK PIC. I’ve started dating, oh joy! I have joined Ok cupid, a free online dating site. I have never been on a dating website, there was never a need. I’m ready, I say to myself. I’m not ready, I say even louder. I ask my therapist […]

My Gal Pal, Val

When I was in high school, there were a few people that I aspired to be. I had hair envy, I had body envy. But there was only one person who gave me brain envy. Her name was Valerie Veerman and she was the smartest person, I knew and usually the smartest person in the room. We were in […]

Too Much

All of my life I have been told I was too much. When I was a child, a teacher sat me down and told me I was too aggressive because I punched a girl that had turned my last name into Walrus instead of Wallace. During my childhood I was told by several adults that I was too confrontational, […]

Black Wives Matter

“I am dying” I say, when asked. My friend Sarah and I are on the phone and she asks me how I am and my off the cuff response is I am dying. This was not yesterday or even two years ago.  This was ten fucking years ago and I was convinced of my impending […]

Forty is Forty

I am pretty sure that forty, or a few years after forty, is the most dangerous age known to man. At 39, I knew I had my life figured out. OK my husband died soon after I turned thirty-nine but still I’ve witnessed this age collapse with my forty-something friends. In the two short years […]

That Danny Glover thing

I think I have that Danny Glover disease. Nope, I know I have it. He is on my T.V. every night describing something I have been struggling with since widowhood. In these commercials, Danny talks about his ability to control his emotions because he is an actor and he does not, I repeat, does not […]

Know thy self.

I don’t know who I am without Peter. I am lost on so many levels without him. I know I am a parent, a single parent. I know I am a woman in love with several men. (I may or may not explain that last sentence in a blog) In an effort to know myself, […]

Daisies

When I was nine, I was being molested by my mother’s boyfriend. That was the same time I fell in love with daisies.  Daisies aren’t particularly beautiful but I loved them with all my nine year old soul. As the abuse escalated so did my love for daisies. I watched them return, not just return, […]

Dorito Fat

If I can just get this buttercream frosting right this day will end perfectly. I can’t focus and I am stupidly trying a new buttercream recipe. My mantra right now is “I am so stupid, I am so stupid”.  I really need to eat a cake. A cake with buttercream frosting. Baking a yummy cake […]