“I am dying” I say, when asked. My friend Sarah and I are on the phone and she asks me how I am and my off the cuff response is I am dying. This was not yesterday or even two years ago. This was ten fucking years ago and I was convinced of my impending […]
I am so sad today. Recently some friends have been sharing their wedding photos and my first thought was “I used to be married once.” It seems so long ago. I used to be married once. My brain wants to reject this sadness. In between intermittent tears, I dream of my second wedding. I am […]
I have been asked so many times in the two years since I became a widow if I want to marry again. I can’t decide if the question is purely curiosity or if people are asking because they can not face the reality of their spouse dying; perhaps afraid to catch “the death,” which as […]
I was married the evening of Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]
I was married the evening of Saturday, July 25, 1992, I was banned by my husband from doing the laundry August 8 of that same year. Banned is a strong word, really I was encouraged to find another household chore to complete. I wasn’t really banned officially until June of 2000. Our first child had […]
If I can just get this buttercream frosting right this day will end perfectly. I can’t focus and I am stupidly trying a new buttercream recipe. My mantra right now is “I am so stupid, I am so stupid”. I really need to eat a cake. A cake with buttercream frosting. Baking a yummy cake […]
At the point in my short-lived dating life I have given up. That’s O.K. I am finally good with being alone. So the next date I have I make an agreement with myself that I don’t really care if he likes me. In fact I’m going to be the most outlandish me I can be. […]
Engulfed? All encompassing? A wash in? I really don’t know and can’t remember the appropriate word but I am crushed by grief today and it sucks. It’s been almost two years and I am still engulfed in grief. Everyone tells me it has only been two years and I will learn to “incorporate” the sadness […]
Engulfed? All encompassing? A wash in? I really don’t know and can’t remember the appropriate word but I am crushed by grief today and it sucks. It’s been almost two years and I am still engulfed in grief. Everyone tells me it has only been two years and I will learn to “incorporate” the sadness […]
We always loved to treat our kids with ice cream cake for their birthdays. Maybe because in both of our families Baskin Robbins’ ice cream cake meant something celebratory was happening. Something much bigger than a birthday. It meant the Pope was coming over for dinner, even though neither my husband’s family nor mine were […]
lifeinthewidowhood 